Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
