I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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