u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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