It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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