Dual....:-)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
