Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
