We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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