my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
