6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can't just leave with hair like that
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
