About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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