They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
