Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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