Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I need to calm my uterus...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize