Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
