Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
