I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
