I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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