he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
