He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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