I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
