you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
