Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
