Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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