Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
