looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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