What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
