he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
