is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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