I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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