I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
