My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
