Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
