The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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