I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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