my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
