if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
