Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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