Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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