Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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