I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
