I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There r osticjed everywhere
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
