Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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