how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
