Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
