when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
