I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
