sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
