i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
