mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
