Sponge bath it is.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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